lessons learned on friday 13th

hans and his new favourite toy 1. toilet paper:  there’s a sort of wicked parallel-universe side to the commercial with the tiny fluffy kittens playing on softy waves of pillowy-soft toilet paper.  my cat, hans certainly noticed the difference when i bought the luxurious three-ply toilet paper this month (on sale) rather than boring two-ply kind from costco.  not such a brilliant savings, as it turned out.
eggs from space 2. hardboiled eggs: apparently, if you hard-boil an egg, and then freeze it solid, and then thaw it out again, you can create your own meterorite-egg.  however, the conformation of its proteins are so radically altered by the process, you end up eating something like a racquetball.  don’t try this at home.
ultra hotness 3. don’t lose that number: if you are going to go out with co-workers to ultra, you should avoid doing the shots.  i’m sure that i’m still not ready for dating, but if you meet hotness like this and she ends up giving you a kiss, having that last shot may make the difference between remembering to get a phone number and not.  so if you are this person in the photo, please email me as i have something for you.
the long journey home...on the floor? 4. get off the train: if you ignored point 3 above about the shots, and you end up alone on the subway at 1:39am, you should probably try and keep your wits about you when the train approaches your home station.  if not, you may be on the train for a lot longer than you’d like, and miss your stop. and miss your stop a second time.  also, taking pictures of empty subway trains from low angles may precipitate falling out of your seat.

– g

ps. song of the day THE SONG for getting retardedly smashed, but having a bona-fide, rock-star good time: the devil inside, inxs